July 28th [1910]
Beloved, or rather, Dark Devil,
I meant to write several days ago, although you do say you don't care a damn. But in that too I was hoodwinked by Miss Thomas. I gather that some great conspiracy is going on behind my back. What a mercy we can't have at each other!
Or we should quarrel till midnight, and Clarissa's [the coming 'niece'] deformities, inherited from generations of hard drinking Bells, would be laid at my door. She-(Miss T.) won't read me or quote your letters. But I gather that you want me to stay on here.
She is in a highly wrought state, as the lunatic upstairs has somehow brought her case to court; and I can't make her speak calmly. Do write and explain. Having read your last letter at least 10 times-so that Miss Bradbury [nurse] is sure it is a love letter and looks very arch-I can't find a word about my future. I had agreed to come up on Monday; which would leave time for walking.
However, what I mean is that I shall soon have to jump out of a window. The ugliness of the house is almost inexplicable-having white, and mottled green and red. Then there is all the eating and drinking and being shut up in the dark.
I have been out in the garden for 2 hours; and feel quite normal. I feel my brain's, like a pear, to see if it's ripe; it will be exquisite by September.